you wonder why I held on
you ask me why I even care
while I sit and go over what went wrong
and you still sit there unaware
of how much you really meant to me
and everything we were supposed to be
all those stupid plans we made
all the stupid games we played
all those pointless fights we had
and all the wonderful moments too
every time you made me mad
even though we always knew
no matter how much went wrong
we somehow were right where we belong
so when you ask me why I care
I want you to know I'll always be there
because your more than just an ex boyfriend, your one of my best friends too
even though were just friends now, I will always love you
maybe not the way I used to, maybe not the way I should
but I'll always be there for you, more than anyone else ever could
and even though things have changed
and were not the same people we used to be
theres still one thing that will always remain
you will forever be a part of me

Don't say you've changed, I know better

I'm done listening to all of your lies

Your not getting better, you're only getting worse

With every new promise you make to me, you're just creating another lie, more empty words

And you know it too, don't act like you don't, we both know you'll never change

So stop trying to make me proud...and stop trying to make me feel bad for you

This little game of self pity is getting old

And frankly my dear..I'm getting sick of playing

<center>behind this smile, is everything you will never understand...


inside this head is a million secrets...


behind these eyes, is everything you'll ever need...


inside this girl, is everything you'll ever want...


too bad that you will never ever see


that inside this girl....is me....

gonna get my hair cut! Ims excited lol

your going to admit that you feel the same way....it just might be too late by then...

I just realized how long its been since I wrote in this thing!

ok so..updates...

umm..I got my belly button pierced two days ago ^-^ and it didnt hurt at all! its a lil sore now but when I was getting it done it didnt hurt

Gosh.. I cant believe Im gonna be a senior this year, I remember walking in the first day freshman year...and now Im graduating!! and going to freakin college!

so last time I posted was just after wintefest...god Im slipping lol

so whats happened since then you ask?

Prom..that was awesome!!!!!!! and I went with mike ^-^ even tho were not together any more were still really good friends and thats good so..yeah.. :)

umm Mrs. Payne retired...and we got this new guy, his name is Mr.Cash I believe, so new choir teacher for my senior year and hes like redoing all of the choirs and making a guys choir and..geeze...this year should be interesting...

oh, I found a new favortie TV show since gilmore girls ended.... Its "Greek"

umm..Ims all outta stuff to say so I'll quit for now but I'll try to keep up on the journal and not let it slip for like 4 months again lol

it totally rocked...minimal drama...and I has pics...as does jordin..she just needs to get them up lol.

so..yeah..Ive never had a live journal before...no journal really..I posted blogs on myspace but its mostly videos and song and stuff...hmm...

so forgive me if my "entrys" suck ass...

any way..I just got home from being at torrieys..I spent the night there last night and we went to the mall today..bought some stuff...got winterfest dresses...mhm..then we went home and played video games till it was time for me to go back to my own house.

I really miss someone right now...he hasnt even been gone for 24 hrs yet....and I feel like I havent talked to him in weeks...and he still wont be back for a lil over a week.  :(

I talked to him till 3 am last night/this morning... we had some very intresting conversations....he made me think...again...damn him... o well

ok well...I really dont know what else to say...so Im gonna stop...

oh..anyone else plannin on goin to winterfest next weekend?? I wanna know who else is going... let me know 'kay ^_^